Chronicles of the Wind Post
ISSUE 4
This writer's inquiry was a bit funny for me. By that, I don't mean to say anything about is is humorous. It's funny in how much of a coincidence it is, that this man's question mirrors something I'm going through, myself. He asked me to keep him anonymous, in the event things work out for him, but his question was about the fact he worries that his paramour was put off by his openness and bluntness in a past meeting, especially since she's been absent for weeks. He was especially taken, given they have similar cultural backgrounds. I, also, had someone that I was absolutely enthralled by vanish on me recently, so I understand this pain.
Shiny things
I put a bit of lemongrass oil in a warmer and sat down at a quiet table. Amethyst is a stone often associated with love, and I managed to get my hands on another nicely faceted piece after losing my last one in the river. I set it down in the center of some candles, blew out the surrounding lanterns, and let the light work its magic. Sparkles everywhere. As the flames dance, the jewel is brought to life, with colors and glints of light playing along the surfaces.
It's really easy to lose yourself with this technique. The objective is to release your mind of thought, and to just take in the images that play along the gem, and parse what hidden meaning is being presented to you. You're paying attention, and not paying attention at the same time. Or, you're daydreaming while looking at a glittering object surrounded by fire. Either way, it's quite relaxing.
Usually, after about eight to ten minutes, my mind starts playing tricks on me, and I start to see things. The shard of light might warp into someone else's face, or an animal. Sometimes, the light takes on abstract shapes that I have to consider. On particularly volatile occasions, entire scenes will play along the surfaces, interacting with each flat plane like pages in a book being turned as my eye explores each one. Those visions are the most vivid and startling.
Man in the mirror
The ten minute mark passed, judging by the hourglass on the far desk. Then, half an hour. My eyes were beginning to hurt from staring so hard into this gem, and I was determined not to fail, this time. I could only see one thing in the reflections, and it was my own vacant gaze peering back at me. The only thing I could glean by the time the sand emptied was my own vacant face staring back at me, and the fact I had gone all day with my eyeliner smudged on my left side. Nobody had told me my makeup was smudged the entire twelve hours I was roaming about.
Putting aside that mild frustration for that moment, I opted to lean back a bit and consider what I might be doing wrong. The ambiance was right, the setup was correct. Was my mindset off? I was perfectly calm and eager when I began, so everything seemed prime. I had the right energy to do this reading, right?
And yet, I wasn't seeing anything. This is a bit upsetting for someone mid-rank in the Divine Order.
By that point, the candles were beginning to melt everywhere, and to avoid another scolding from my elder, I extinguished the flames. It was then just me, sitting in the twilight, with this gem on a table in front of me, surrounded by the ink-smears of smoke still wafting in the air. I could still make out a ghostly facsimile of myself, as the last lines of the evening dwindled.
As dusk fell, it dawned on me. I had been seeing plenty.
Sometimes, revelations hit like an anvil to the chest
As a Diviner, we're taught to peer outward for answers. We peer into water, burn things, flip cards, or other mediums to glean bits of information Fate has to offer. We take visions, parse them, and try to offer some piece of advice to our client to help them make sense of their life.
This expensive rock in front of me had only my own face to offer me. That wasn't due to a failing of my technique. It was on purpose.
I know this man's pain. I had also confessed my feelings to a woman, and face her absence. She also has the aspect of being a foreign figure, just like me, just like my writer and his crush.
She likely didn't leave because of anything I did, because she retains her own self. It's just that sometimes, Fate opts not to tie people together in the same timeline. In my case, she's an ascetic, having made the choice to remain in a simpler life than I choose to lead. And I respect her for it, and whereas I yearn for her company, I know she has her own destiny to fulfill, goals to reach, and happiness to find. I don't need to be part of the equation for her to reach nirvana, as much as I would love to be. It may also be that there's someone else destined to be my other half that I haven't found yet.
And even if was my fault, that she had to distance herself from me in order to go about her life, or if I did something to offend her, then the only thing I can do is forgive myself, and prepare for the next phase of my life to begin. I send thoughts of happiness through the ether to her, and bid her the best in her absence. If she comes back, I will be here, even if only as a friendly face to greet them at the doorway. My mind and heart are open to possibilities, hers and mine.
And this is what I also recommend to my anonymous gentleman. It doesn't mean I spent the next hour not in a weeping mess, though. That's all part of it.
A note to my readers:
I only received one entry for this issue of Ask Miss Gary (and it was an awesome one), and this column can't exist without your support. If you have suggestions for ways to improve or attract more entries for this column, please contact me so we can chatty-chat.
Love and sparkles,
Garamond "Miss Gary" Beatrix
